Underworld: Awakening

This is a near-totally shallow action movie that still manages to be fun.

Since the events of Underworld: Evolution, things have changed quite a bit. Humanity has discovered the existence of the vampires and lycans, and is now attempting to eradicate them. Selene and Michael are captured and frozen, Han Solo-in-carbonite-style. Thirteen years later, Selene wakes up but Michael is missing. Selene then begins searching for Michael, uncovering a lycan conspiracy and slaughtering hundreds of people along the way.

The Underworld series has never really been all that great. At best it's been "okay." Its real strengths were its well-thought-out mythology and the star power of Kate Beckinsale; its weaknesses were its direction and lackluster scripts. Awakening doesn't get any better in any of those categories, but it does have enough straightforward action to more than make up for the lack of real emotional drama. All this movie really has going for it is a story that's just good enough to justify the action, which is really fun.

Another interesting note is the fact that the 3D version of the movie is actually done very differently from most 3D movies.  While most 3D films merely give a bit of "depth" to the movie, allowing the audience to tell which objects are closer or farther away, Underworld turns the 3D depth up way more than most other films even dare. The result is something that actually feels less like a movie and more like just "being there." It's surprisingly enjoyable.

If you're an Underworld fan or someone who just likes the thought of spending two hours watching Kate Beckinsale in black leather shooting people, Awakening is worth watching.

6/10

The Last Airbender

...Look, I... I just don't want to write this. It's not worth my time.

I love the animated series upon which this movie is based. But I loathe this movie. It takes all the magic, heart, drama, humor, excitement, energy, and fun out of the show, and replaces it with slow, stupid nonsense that does nothing but frustrate.

I could rant about how bad this movie is for a lot longer. I could mention how details, big and small, are changed from the series for apparently no reason, angering fans. I could talk about the bland acting, or the fact that there are literally NO scenes in the movie that serve as anything other than exposition. I could mention the stupidly-choreographed action scenes, which stand in contrast to the series' jaw-dropping fight scenes.

But no. I've already wasted more energy typing this review than this movie deserves.

0/10

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Watching Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is like living through a melancholy dream. Even more than The Order of the Phoenix, this film is nearly devoid of bright color, reflecting the dreary mood of the story. This is actually rather strange, as Order of the Phoenix ended on a slightly upbeat and hopeful note. However, as a mostly melancholic, subdued film, The Half-Blood Prince is wonderful.

Right from the start, it's obvious that this is one of the most visually-impressive fantasy films ever created. The cinematography never ceases to amaze, and the extreme level of detail and realism that accompanies the already-striking artistic style rivals that of the Lord of the Rings films. It's especially satisfying to watch the perfectly-rendered Quidditch match in this film and realize just how far the visual effects have come since The Sorcerer's Stone. Each magical spell, gust of snow-filled wind, and billow of black smoke looks perfectly realistic.

Despite the dark tone of the overall plot, this actually may be the most genuinely humorous Potter film. For a good 80% of the movie, the main characters have little more to do than simply live their lives. It might sound boring or pointless, but there's so much character development and genuine humor that it's completely entertaining the whole way through.

One surprising—but not unwelcome—aspect of the story is the heavy emphasis on the close, loving relationship between Harry and Hermione. It's touching in an unexpected way, and goes to show just how strong their friendship really is.

Even Draco Malfoy is given more depth, as we see for the first time that he is a conflicted character, rather than a one-dimensional bigoted bully.

The Half-Blood Prince is not entirely without disappointments, however. While the dark seriousness of the story is not necessarily a bad thing, it does take away some of the "punch" that The Order of the Phoenix excelled at.

Another problem with the film is the fact that it lacks a real ending. While The Order of the Phoenix managed to create a conclusion where one really didn't exist, here we don't even have any sort of closure at all. Although we are told exactly where the characters are going and what's happened at the end, we still don't have the emotional closure that is necessary for the film to work on a purely emotional level. This very well may have been the intent of the filmmakers, as Dumbledore's death is meant to be an emotional blow, but the simple fact is that the ending is not satisfying. It feels as though we are given an invisible "to be continued" message when we shouldn't have needed one.

However, for all of its narrative flaws, the film is far from crippled because of them. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince has a wonderful script, well-executed humor, stunning visuals, and great characterization.

Eight points for Gryffindor.

8/10

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

This film is essentially an extensive prologue to Underworld, and serves in that sense quite admirably. As its own story, however, it falters.

The basic plot is this:
In medieval times, a vampire coven under the rule of Viktor--whom we know from the first Underworld to be a tyrant--has bred a new race of werewolves: the Lycans. These werewolves, unlike their more animalistic brethren, are completely sentient and capable of controlling their transformations. The original Lycan, Lucian--who is both a son and a pet to Viktor--is secretly married to Viktor's daughter, Sonja. The Lycans are slaves to the vampires, and eventually this reaches its breaking point. Lucian is forced to rebel against his vampire masters in order to save Sonja's life, and is punished severely. It is at this point that Lucian leads a Lycan mass escape from the vampire stronghold, and forms an army of werewolves to return and destroy the vampire menace.

One of the problems with Rise of the Lycans is that we already know the outcome of the story from what's been told in the previous Underworld films. However, this film does provide for a very strong support of Lucian as a heroic character, something that was severely lacking in the original film. There is no doubt that Lucian and the other Lycans are completely in the right in their rebellion, which casts some doubt on the supposed moral ambiguity of the Vampire/Lycan gang war seen in Underworld.

Another odd thing is the irrationality of Viktor. There are plenty of logical--albeit flawed--reasons to be a stubborn, amoral person, but Viktor appears to be a tyrant for no other reason than... wait, was there a reason?

The violence and sexual content in this film was comparable to Underworld: Evolution, though perhaps less immoral. There was an almost-graphic sex scene in this film, but the characters were married, at least. Furthermore, the gore was seen almost entirely on the battlefield, and was not without purpose.

The visual effects were well-done (the werewolves in particular look stellar), though some of the CG coloring done on Sonja's eyes looked messy. A major gripe with this film is its complete darkness. It is very, very difficult to see what is happening in certain battle scenes. I saw the film in a satisfactorily dark theater, from just the right distance. There was no reason for me to not be able to discern what was happening other than the fact that the film is irrationally dark and confusing.


This film seems to owe a lot to Kate Beckinsale. After all, it was she who essentially made the previous Underworld films profitable--and worth watching. The character of Sonja almost seems too similar to Selene, and I wonder if perhaps the filmmakers would have cast Beckinsale in the role if she had been available. I do realize that Sonja and Selene are supposed to be similar due to a subplot of the series, but it does seem perhaps too strange. Beckinsale actually opens Rise of the Lycans with an exposition monologue--which is perhaps fitting, considering that it was Selene who had discovered this long-forgotten history in the previous films. The film also ends with footage from the original Underworld's opening, with an overlay of dialogue that is semi-relevant to this film's story. It's a somewhat cool moment, but it feels as though it simply panders to fans' nostalgia over the original film, rather than delivering a truly new and original experience. Another problem with the ending is that the overlaid dialogue directly references Selene's past, which is suddenly confusing after considering certain events in Rise of the Lycans. Unless you're well-steeped in Underworld lore and understand the complex chronological rituals of the Vampire elders, you may not understand this seeming plot hole. But hey, we get to see Kate Beckinsale, even if it was archival footage that we already saw six years ago.

I definitely do like many elements of this film, but not enough to recommend it to anyone but fans of the series. If anything, this film serves best as a prologue to the first film, and in that sense, it is enjoyable.

5/10

Prince Caspian - Eight Months Later

Last week, I watched Prince Caspian for the first time since its midnight showing. Perhaps because I knew what to expect, I enjoyed the film far more than I did the first time.

I noticed a lot of interesting things that I think I missed on my first viewing. My initial reaction to Caspian had been "what the heck did I just watch?" But after I'd had time to let it all sink in and settle, things became clear.
One thing that only marginally made sense the first time was Aslan's late appearance. While it was rather obvious that the Pevensies and Caspian were supposed to wait for Aslan rather than move on their own, the little details in the dialogue seemed to support this point more than I had originally realized. This blends very well into Prince Caspian's overall theme of "growing up, but not forgetting what you've learned from your childhood." Peter and (to a lesser extent) Susan had forgotten the lessons they learned from Aslan, and were relying on their own strength rather than their savior's. Matthew 18:3-4 says "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." In this instance, Lucy is the humble child that still believes in Aslan, while Peter needs to let go of his pride and remember what he learned in his younger years.
It's true that Peter was not nearly as arrogant and prideful in the original book, but his altered character in the film is both redeemable and important to the underlying conflict. Without Peter's admittedly foolish actions in the film adaptation, the moral message wouldn't have been nearly as pronounced.


The film's message certainly has flaws, however. While the concept of "God waiting for us to trust him" works in an allegorical sense, it does not work in a literal setting. Why did Aslan allow the Narnians to be attacked and hunted to near-extinction, then let half of those survivors die in a foolish attack on a castle? Was it really all simply to teach the elder Pevensies a lesson? In the Bible it is often stated that the Israelites were conquered or punished in some fashion because they fell into sin, but there's nothing stating that the Narnians did anything to deserve being slaughtered. Of course, perhaps the dead Narnians all went to Heaven after their deaths (some sort of uber-Narnia?). Aslan's absence seems to be more fitting in an allegorical fantasy book, but live-action film constantly makes the viewer see the realistic side of things, and unfortunately highlights some very odd inconsistencies.

The Chronicles of Narnia is a book series that essentially captures the feeling of a young child's imaginary fantasy, while mixing in mature Christian allegory. Unfortunately, some of this doesn't quite mix when put into film form. C.S. Lewis wisely kept the battle scene in The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe unseen, thus keeping a common tone throughout the story. The film adaptation of LWW shows the battle (and rightly so), but unfortunately sacrifices the steadiness of tone by suddenly shifting the main characters (who are children) out of their gentle fantasy journey and into a vicious war. That's not to say that it's not still enjoyable, but the abrupt shift does make for a technically weaker narrative. Make no mistake, I would gladly sacrifice narrative cohesiveness in order to have a great Narnian battle, but there's still a part of me that screams "this doesn't naturally follow!"
Prince Caspian has a similar problem in that it is far too dark and violent to be considered a real "family" film, yet is too tame to be anything else. The film maintains a steadily flowing narrative in that it focuses entirely on war, which is ultimately a good thing. The children (with the exception of Lucy) are all grown up and completely prepared to fight, perhaps to a fault. As stated before, this film is about growing up. However, in order to grow up in a wise manner, Peter and Susan had to essentially become children of Aslan again, yet use the greater maturity they've gained with age to fight a deadly war. This symbolizes the way that Christians must remember the lessons they learned as children, applying them to the constant struggle of adult life. Indeed, this is perhaps literally stated in the end of Caspian, as Peter and Susan are said to have "learned all they can" from Narnia, and now must return to the natural world, applying the wisdom gained from their Narnian adventures in the real world.

Speaking of the end of the film...
Much has been said about the Susan/Caspian "romance." This is perhaps the most annoying complaint I've heard, as it honestly doesn't matter. The film's plot isn't at all changed by this flirtatiousness, and in some ways it actually makes sense. We know from The Last Battle that Susan eventually becomes materialistic and shallow, so it isn't a stretch to say that she'd flirt with a handsome prince in a fantasy land. Her kiss to him may have been more of a goodbye to Narnia itself, as Caspian--being the King of Narnia--was essentially Narnia incarnate in handsome-man-form. (okay, even I can't help laughing at that designation) They didn't "fall in love;" they merely flirted and kissed once before never seeing each other again. Heck; Susan was the only foreign girl Caspian had ever seen (and probably the hottest girl in the entire realm), and Caspian was the only guy around that wasn't Susan's brother. In such a stressful time, why wouldn't they be attracted to one another? Sheesh, purists. Get over it.

The childlike/mature dichotomy is a complicated one, and is perhaps Caspian's biggest fault. As stated earlier, the film is too mature for young children, yet perhaps too bland for older audiences. However, it still manages to capture the feeling of a young boy's imaginary adventure, and, in that sense, it works very well.
Looking back on Prince Caspian, I feel that I can safely give it a good rating.

6/10.

Classic Disney

I've decided to write a relative deluge of reviews on classic Disney animated films. However, before I dive into those, I thought that I should explain my background with these movies.


On July 26th, 1989, I was born in Honolulu, Hawaii.
On November 17th, 1989, The Little Mermaid was released in theaters, being the first in a what would later be referred to as "the Disney Renaissance," a period of several years where high-quality animated Disney films were both critical and commercial successes.
Many of my earliest memories completely revolve around the Disney films that I watched as a two-year-old at my grandparents' home. My favorite by far was The Little Mermaid, probably because of the fact that I lived on a tropical island at the time.
By the time I was six, I had seen many more of the now-classics that had been released in the following years, notably Beauty and the Beast, Pocahontas (though I hesitate to call that one a "classic"), and many older films such as 101 Dalmatians and The Jungle Book.
My entire world at that age revolved around creating my own imaginary universe, where all the heroes, villains, and adventures of those incredible stories were all intertwined. There's no word that could express my obsession with those stories, even though I couldn't see their true value at the time.

By the time I was ten, I'd seen them all. However, I had now progressed to the point in life where I was allowed to watch more "mature" films, and moved on from the animated tales of my past, seeking the more cynical stories of the modern era. The old Disney magic lay forgotten.

This semester in college, I signed up for a World Literature class that has a focus on "Fairy Tales and Folkore." As it turns out, some of our assignments focus completely on reinterpretations of classic stories, including the Disney films. I have now begun to revisit my childhood, and view these tales through new and (I hope) more mature eyes.

The Renaissance has now passed, and Disney films have fallen into shadow.
Memory is now all that remains of their former glory, and, through these writings, I plan to honor that memory.


Just as soon as my Netflix DVDs arrive.


Finished Reviews:
The Little Mermaid
Beauty and the Beast
Aladdin

Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Star Wars: The Clone Wars is not a "movie." Originally, it was intended to be the first several episodes of the upcoming TV series of the same name. However, due to various reasons, these episodes were edited together into a "movie," and released in theaters.
God help us all.

One thing that is immediately obvious is the fact that The Clone Wars is very kid-oriented. Instead of the dramatic Star Wars logo and the opening crawl sequence, the film begins with the Clone Wars logo, and has no crawl. Instead, what would have been the text of the crawl is actually the spoken dialogue of a narrator. It sounds somewhat like the narrator of the old WWII propaganda movies, and works on some level. However, I honestly hate the fact that Lucasfilm feels the need to talk down to me. I could have read the opening crawls just fine when I was four years old, and I don't need it to be read to me now. Just let me read it for myself and let my imagination do the work.

This "movie" does not have spectacular animation by film standards. In fact, visually, it's rather sub-par compared to virtually any other CG animated movie in theaters. However, for a TV series, it will be easily one of the most visually stunning shows on TV, if not the most. To quote IGN.com, the characters are rendered with a style reminiscent of "hand-painted maquettes". It's a very interesting style, though in motion much of it seems strange. George Lucas apparently told the animators to make the motions of the characters stiffer and more exaggerated, rather than smooth and lifelike. This is an interesting move, though it doesn't always pay off. Many of the character movements just look awkward or illogical, rather than stylistically interesting. The battle scenes are spectacular to be sure, but they lack a certain style. They don't have the sharp style and pacing of the previous animated Clone Wars series, and aren't realistic enough to be anywhere near as good as what was seen in the live-action films. What's left is something in-between that isn't as good as either, and falls short of nearly every mark.

The two main flaws of the film are the dialogue and the pacing. Throughout the film, there is no pause. The entire movie is one quick sequence after another, filled with poorly-written and acted dialogue. This may not be the fault of the voice actors, however, as the animation for the film was done at least a year ago, and the voice actors may have had to lip-sync to the animation, causing the lines to sound odd or ill-timed. Additionally, the "squeezing" of the already-made episodes into a film under two hours may have left the editors with nothing left to do but make every shot in the film as short as possible. I honestly cannot describe how fast the film moves. It's like watching a schizophrenic on caffeine (my apologies to any schizophrenics whom I just mentally compared to this film. You're much better than that).
There is no room for drama or a quiet moment. The film just keeps on running, never taking a break. This makes the action scenes seem no more exciting than the [very few] non-action scenes, and the dialogue less and less important. Rather than allowing for the dialogue to have any timing or depth, the film abruptly jams lines together, making it seem as though the movie's editors were having Mountain Dew pumped into their veins.

Please understand; I love Star Wars. I own at least three dozen Star Wars novels, not counting my many guidebooks, my favorite of which is titled Jedi vs Sith: The Essential Guide to The Force. I own at least fifteen Star Wars video games, and there are very few who dare to challenge me at Star Wars Trivial Pursuit. Heck, I even own a Master Replicas Force FX Luke Skywalker Episode IV Electronic Lightsaber.

She's my baby. ^-^

I literally do not understand how anyone could not like Star Wars; it's a completely alien concept to my mind. I love everything that makes up the universe of The Clone Wars. Despite this, I can't simply accept Clone Wars as a film. The upcoming TV series will probably succeed where the movie failed, but that's not good enough. Clone Wars is one of the most poorly-executed films that I have seen in recent memory. It's worse than Tomb Raider 2, The Mummy 3, and Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie. I feel as if George Lucas himself has tortured me for two painful hours of my life.

They didn't even ask me any questions...

Do yourself a MASSIVE favor and DO NOT SEE THIS FILM. It's not worth your time or your childrens'. Instead of paying for a movie ticket, go buy an action figure from the movie; you'll have more fun with that.

Prince Caspian

In December of 2005, The Chronicles of Narnia: the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe was released in theaters. While not necessarily very deep, it was very charming. Every bit of every scene was filled with magic and wonder, and was constantly interesting despite a lack of action. Prince Caspian, on the other hand, is quite the opposite.

The first Narnia film ended with a sense of wonder and curiosity; the second begins with a close-up of a screaming, pain-ridden pregnant woman. This scene is in no way comical. In fact, it is somewhat disturbing considering Narnia's reputation for child-like innocence. However, this scene quickly sets up the conflict which is the central focus of the entire film. From the start, it is clear that every shot in the film was carefully done, and each scene is nearly poetic in its symmetry and beauty.

However, for a long while, the cinematography is the only interesting part of the film. While it's always great to see the characters we know from the first film, they don't even know what they're doing for the first half of the story. They spend the first hour of the film traversing a Narnia that has been ridden of magic, with storytelling that is similarly ridden of its magical charm.

The story itself doesn't entirely make sense, and, due to the fact that it generally follows the book's plot (though with many additions and a few character modifications), unfortunately lacks a strong conclusion.

Fortunately, the battle scenes nearly make up for everything. While I always imagined that Narnia had the potential for great action sequences, LWW (the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe) was a far more peaceful film, and didn't take Narnia's battle potential to the fullest degree.

My favorite character in Narnia has always been Peter. When I saw his fighting style in the Battle of Beruna (the end of LWW), I knew that I'd found a pretty accurate visual representation of how I'd fight if someone gave me my choice of weapons and armor. I seriously would love a suit of armor like Peter's. I'd wear it all the time. ^-^

Unfortunately, in LWW he was young and inexperienced, and couldn't really hold his own against the White Witch (though he gave her a really great fight for someone at his age and skill level).
In Prince Caspian, however, he has lived for years in Narnia, and has had time to nearly perfect his swordfighting skills. He was incredible.

SPOILERS ENSUE:
There was one scene where I thought "it'd be awesome if he took down that guy by parrying to the right, spinning to the left, then slashing horizontally across his back" (because that's exactly what I would have done; it's one of my signature moves). Half a second later, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT PETER DOES. I got totally excited, not just because I saw a reflection of my own fighting style, but because of the level of skill that it shows. It's basically a move that simultaneously shrugs off an enemy's attack and casually kills him (or at least slashes his spine. ^-^). That move shows that you're on a level far above your opponent, and stand among the elite.
I have yet to successfully pull that move off. But that's beside the point...

Towards the last half hour of the film, I thought to myself "all I really wanted was for a nice, long, one-on-one duel between Peter and some high-ranking badguy, but it's probably too late now." Five minutes later, IT HAPPENED. O_O
I was ecstatic.
Peter's beheading of the Telmarine was my favorite part of the film. I clapped and cheered (which, if you know me, is quite a rare thing).



I've decided that I've had it with purists. Yes, Peter's attitude isn't perfect like it was in the book. Yes, there is a minor subplot with Susan and Caspian. Yes, they added an action scene. I DON'T CARE. Honestly, the original books don't go into enough detail or realism anyway. The characters are rather two-dimensional, serving only to follow along with the plot points rather than actually develop as realistic characters. The fact that Peter was accustomed to being High King and had trouble being a humble boy again is only natural, and makes sense. Furthermore, it makes for great development as he re-learns to be humble and effectively submit to Aslan's will.

In the end, Prince Caspian was mixed. I think that LWW was better overall, but Caspian's action scenes were far superior, and the entire film had greater depth.

EDIT: Check out my updated (and much more thorough) thoughts on the film here:
Eight Months Later

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

At the end of The Goblet of Fire, Hermione remarks, "everything's going to change now, isn't it?" Truer words were never spoken. After the shocking ending of the last film, The Order of the Phoenix takes an extremely serious turn.

The entire world of Harry Potter feels very different this time. The wizarding world is still exactly the same as it always was, but it feels much more grounded. Before, Harry Potter was a fictional universe with entirely different rules from reality, only seeking to be the same as our world through the genuineness of its characters. Now, new director David Yates takes the series in a different direction by approaching the story from a very real-world angle and adding the more unrealistic layers of magic on top like icing on a cake.

The re-working of the universe works, and it's not so different that it's not immediately recognizable. All the characters are better-written and acted here than they ever have been before. Ron seems to have finally gotten past being stereotyped as "the one who's afraid of everything," and has become a brave, fierce friend. Hermione has recovered from her bout of overemotional panic from last year, and is back to her brilliant and sharp-witted self from years 1-3.

Gary Oldman puts in a brilliant performance as Sirius Black. We haven't gotten to know him much at all in the films, but here he makes us feel the familial connection between Harry and Sirius within minutes.

Dark-Arts-teacher-of-the-year and villain of the film, Dolores Umbridge, is somewhere between entertaining, frustrating, and horrifying. She's as stubborn and bigoted as the Dursleys, as senseless and bureaucratic as the most evil politician, and as heartless as any dark wizard. She really does an amazing job of making you hate her.

New student Luna Lovegood is a total joy to watch. She has little-to-nothing to do with the overall plot, but she's so funny that it doesn't really matter.

Perhaps most striking of all is Helena Bonham-Carter's performance as Bellatrix Lestrange. She's the very definition of demented, and totally captivating.

The visual effects are mostly excellent, partially because they (for the most part) merely enhance the visual action, rather than dominating it as previous films did. Grawp the giant unfortunately looks a bit cartoonish, but he's not around long enough for it to be a serious problem.

The visual style of The Order of the Phoenix is rather desaturated. The Prisoner of Azkaban was similarly devoid of bright color, but somehow still felt vivid. Order of the Phoenix doesn't quite manage to do that, however. It seems to be somewhat more detail-focused, with less dramatic flourish. Still, though, there's something to be said for creating a realistic Hogwarts; it makes the drama feel all the more real.

The music here is very good in certain ways, but doesn't make use of strong themes. The main theme of the series ("Hedwig's Theme") is barely heard at all. The music perfectly supports the on-screen drama, but that's all it does. It doesn't stand out in any particular way. Whereas some of the themes from the first four were breathtaking and worthy of being listened to separately from the movies, the music here is so subdued that it's not really worth listening to on its own. Of notable exception is the theme for the Order of the Phoenix itself, but that's literally one track out of the eighteen on the soundtrack.

One of the best things about this movie are the wizard battles. For the first time, we get actual wizard battles. We've always heard hints about the great war against Voldemort in the past, but never quite knew what that might have looked like. We learned a little about dueling in The Chamber of Secrets and The Goblet of Fire, but this is the first time that we really see fully-trained wizards in all-out battle—fighting alongside our teenage heroes, who've become rather skilled themselves. It's great to finally have what can really be called a fight scene in Harry Potter.

The one-on-one duel between Voldemort and Dumbledore is beyond jaw-dropping. It's clever, imaginative, and epic.

Overall, this is a very good movie. It's got its problems, but none of them make the film anything less than great.

8/10

Underworld: Evolution

When I saw Underworld, I thought "where was all the sex and violence?" When I saw the 2006 sequel, Underworld: Evolution, I thought "ah, there it is."
Underworld: Evolution starts off where the first film ended, and begins—refreshingly—with a look at just what it's like to be an immortal. Vampires and Lycans alike cannot eat normal food, and are forced to drink cloned human blood. It's nice to see some actual development of the main characters' everyday lives, now made more complicated with the events of the last film.

As stated before, this film is far more violent than the last. People are repeatedly impaled, eaten, dismembered, and ripped apart. The blood and gore really never stops, and is rather superfluous.
There are also a couple of sex scenes, one of which is entirely pointless.
This entire film feels as if someone said "the first film didn't have enough sex and violence. Let's add more this time!"

The plot is both convoluted and uninteresting, though it does delve a bit deeper into the Underworld mythology. Because of certain events surrounding Selene at the end of the film, it'll be interesting to see what happens with her if and when another sequel is made.

I really have very little to say about this movie. It's just not very good.


3/10

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

This is a very weird movie. On one hand, the Harry Potter series has never been more epic. On the other hand, it's never been this pointless.

A huge portion of The Goblet of Fire is dedicated to the "sillier" nature of Harry Potter: the sports, the melodrama between the kids, and the general ridiculousness of the magical world itself. The remainder of the film is dominated by the darkest and most powerful events we've seen yet. On one hand, the sillier stuff works. The kids are teenagers now, and a fair amount of humorously awkward melodrama makes sense. It's largely funny, and works surprisingly well.

There's some weird stuff going on with the cast this year. For one thing, every teenage male main character has extremely long hair for no apparent reason. It's really distracting.

Hermione seems emotionally unstable the entire time. All she does is worry about Harry or get angry at Ron. While her emotional reactions aren't unwarranted, the fact that we get little of the sharp-witted and brilliant Hermione from previous films is disappointing.

Ron seemed to pick this year to act like a suspicious unbelieving jerk towards Harry, without any real reason. Why is Ron suddenly so jealous of Harry? Eleven-year-old Ron was quick to sacrifice himself in the Wizards' Chess game for Harry's sake, but here he suddenly doesn't give his best friend the benefit of a doubt? A normal teenager would probably respond with this type of jealousy and suspicion, but Ron has proven himself to be better than this in the past. It doesn't really make sense, and it's not compelling drama nor humorous comedy. It's just an annoying distraction that could (and perhaps should) have been replaced by the same great trust and friendship that we've seen between Ron and Harry in the past.

Character problems aside, most of the teenagers' acting is slightly questionable this year. It seems like the director was actually encouraging the kids to overact. In a way, it works, since the awkwardness of the situation comes across perfectly. On the other hand, it's a bit distracting.

One notable change from the first three films is a new composer. John Williams' replacement, Patrick Doyle, takes cues from Williams in the tone and style of the music, but crafts a strong score that feels slightly different, yet totally fitting. Harry himself is given a specific musical theme that's woven into the score at various moments of personal drama. Without a doubt, it's one of the most emotionally powerful themes of the entire series.

As in the first two films, much of the story feels like it's jumping through a list of fantastical life-threatening situations. This can be a problem, as it means that the entire movie is basically a highlight reel of the most important events from the books.

The Quidditch World Cup is really fun to see. Prior to this, we've barely seen the magical world outside of Hogwarts and Diagon Alley. Here we finally get to see a bigger picture of the entire wizarding community. It really helps fill in some of the gigantic gaps in Harry Potter lore and paint a better picture of the world we're seeing.

The Yule Ball is a wonderfully funny chance to delve into the teenage angst of the Harry Potter world. With all we see of the trio dealing with grave threats to the school, it's refreshing and fun to see them sit back and just act like humorously awkward teenagers. As if that weren't enough, there's a wizard rock band. Singing such songs as "Magic Works" and "Do the Hippogriff." I mean, seriously. It gets no more ridiculous awesome than that.

The Triwizard Cup challenges are mostly nothing more than action scenes. They are, however, visually stunning and extremely well-directed. Harry's battle with the dragon is so amazingly real-looking that you can't help but feel totally enraptured by the tension of it all. The mermaid scene is perhaps less impressive, but it's still got good elements of fantasy horror and a healthy amount of imagination. The final challenge, the maze, is practically pointless. The danger within the maze is never revealed (aside from a few cantankerous bushes), leaving only a vague undefined threat that doesn't really catch the audience.

The ending battle with Voldemort, however, is so shocking and powerful that it elevates the film far above the level of "decent"-ness that it would have been at otherwise. It brings the story back to the Harry's personal journey and his lifelong fight against Voldemort. Perhaps more importantly, it transitions the Harry Potter series out of the more fun-loving initial four years and throws it abruptly into a much darker and deadly place.

When The Goblet of Fire gets it right, it really gets it right. The return of Voldemort is terrifying, horrific, and powerful. It's also a hugely important event that isn't resolved by the end of the film, thus finally breaking the general rule of self-containment held by prior films. On the other hand, when The Goblet of Fire gets it wrong, it just feels stupid. After dealing with the super-important events of the last film, why are we supposed to care about something as pointless as the Triwizard Tournament? This is a problem in the original book as well, but that doesn't excuse it.

The saving grace of the "pointless" events—the Quidditch World Cup, the Tournament, and the Yule Ball—is that, at the very least, they're entertaining to watch. They get a bit boring on repeat viewings, but they're still reasonably fun. The comedy is highly ridiculous at times, but not quite stupid. It works for the most part.

The filmmakers can't entirely be blamed for the problems with Goblet of Fire; they did just about the best they could with the source material. And, in the end, what's there is still good. It's not as good as Prisoner of Azkaban, but it's definitely a fun movie with a shockingly dark and game-changing ending.

7/10

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Here, Harry Potter takes a turn for the dark. Harry runs away from home in a fit of anger, discovers that a murderous madman is hunting him, and learns a terrible truth about his parents' murder.

The levity of The Philosopher's Stone and The Chamber of Secrets is mostly exchanged for a kind of shadowy fantasy. New director Alfonso Cuarón manages to craft a much more organic-feeling fantasy world, making the prior two films feel jumbled and almost silly by comparison.

The characters are all a bit better this time around. The kids seem to have all gone through puberty at once, and are about twice as mature as they were last time. Harry in particular gets a rather large dose of grow-up potion, as he is finally forced to realize his potential as a powerful wizard. In the past, Hermione was the only one out of the trio who could effectively use magic of any sort, with Ron and Harry being virtually useless in that regard. Here, Harry is clearly shown to be the most powerful of the three, and it's very cool.

Before the making of this film, the actor who portrayed Dumbledore, Richard Harris, died, and is replaced here by Michael Gambon. The old Dumbledore will be terribly missed, but the new one, while different, is also very compelling. He's perhaps a bit too similar to Gandalf the White from Lord of the Rings, but not to a terribly distracting degree. He's got that certain playfulness that Gandalf lacked, but the old Dumbledore always had plenty of.

Some of the best scenes in the film are the quiet moments between Harry and new teacher Remus Lupin. They have a very strong master/student relationship, and it does a lot to ground the story in real, relatable emotion.

The visual style of Harry Potter is reworked in a darker, more cohesive fashion. While the first two films sometimes felt like a jumble of bright colors, this one has a much more uniform and precise look. Much of the imagery looks as though it's taken out of the absolute best of dark fantasy art.

Many of the horror elements of the film are genuinely scary. The dementors are textbook death monsters, and Remus' transformation into a werewolf is horribly twisted—in a good way.

The visual effects get one notch better. The extremely brief Quidditch scene appears to be entirely made of live-action footage rather than CGI. The CGI creatures seen here are still not entirely perfect, but move realistically enough that it's easy to let it slide. Of special note is the extremely lifelike quality of Buckbeak the hippogriff. He moves and acts like a real animal, complete with all the bird-like quirks that you'd expect.

The music here is truly remarkable. John Williams' score feels far different from the first two films, utilizing an entirely new set of themes and a darker, less bombastic tone. There's still a few places where similarities to the Star Wars prequel scores seem to pop up, but it's likely not the kind of thing that anyone other than soundtrack buffs will recognize.

There are a few problems with the way the story is presented. Sirius Black's entrance portrays him as a madman, but he somehow becomes a likable, rather gentlemanly person in less than ten minutes. Harry is shown to completely change his opinion of Sirius in an instant, going from utter contempt and hate to regarding him as close family. It all happens entirely too fast.
Another confusing point is the final confrontation with the dementors and Harry's Patronus Charm. The animal identities of individual Patronus charms are never explained in the film, thus Harry's belief that his father summoned the stag-shaped Patronus doesn't make any sense. It's not plot-breaking, but it does create a mental stumbling block.
Finally, the last real problem with the film is the fact that it doesn't have a definitive ending. The villain escapes and Sirius' name isn't cleared. The kids discover the truth behind the the Potters' betrayer, but very little comes of it. All in all, Prisoner of Azkaban is more of an in-between chapter than a fully-realized story on its own, and comes off slightly as required viewing for future stories. It's no different than the book, but that doesn't necessarily help it much. At the same time, even if this is no more than an in-between chapter, it's still good enough that it's hardly a chore to get through—and the events of this film, while rather minor in the larger scope of things—do definitely become vastly more important in the sequels.

This really is the best Potter film yet. True, it's not as lighthearted and childishly fun as the initial two, but it's overall more enjoyable and feels every bit as magical as it did before.

8/10

Underworld

Underworld is an odd mix of many positive and negative elements. Some love it, others hate it, and the vast majority of critics simply don't care.

The best aspect of the film by far is its well-imagined fictional world. In this story, vampires and werewolves (called "Lycans") have been in conflict for many centuries, and continue their war in today's world. They live as underground gangs, ever looking for new ways to destroy each other. The vampires, using modern technology, have found ways to artificially create human blood, thus removing their need to feed on human beings. Additionally, the Lycans--unlike traditional werewolves--have the ability to completely control their transformations.
The major difference between the two factions is that the Lycans have the advantage of brute strength, while the vampires must avoid sunlight and rely on weaponry in order to stand a chance. Another rather refreshing spark of originality is that Underworld's vampires and werewolves are not supernatural beings at all, nor are they intrinsically malevolent. Instead, their abilities derive from a much more science fiction-esque mutated virus.

Kate Beckinsale plays Selene, a vampire "Death-Dealer" (Lycan hunter). When she meets a young man that may be the key to a long-forgotten secret of both the Lycans and Vampires, she delves into forbidden history, revealing some rather shocking truths.

The undersaturated, gothic visual style of Underworld is striking. This style makes the world of Underworld feel somewhat special, despite its lackluster character and emotional beats.

A rather surprising thing about the film is that, for an R-rated film, it is extremely light on mature content. For a film about a super-powered bloody gang war, there isn't actually that much gore, save for a specific scene or two. Even more surprising is the fact that—despite the film being centered on a vampire Kate Beckinsale wearing a tight black leather outfit—there was absolutely no R-rated sexual content whatsoever. I literally sat there after finishing the movie and thought "where was all the sex and violence?"

One place that Underworld truly stands out, however, is in its obviously-well-thought-out universe and mythology. Everything from the design and function of the characters' unique weaponry to the intricate history of the vampires and lycans is dense with detail. In fact, it's so dense that it can almost be hard to follow at times. There is a lot of exposition in this movie. A lot.

The main problem with Underworld, however, isn't its plot, its characters, or its world. It's simply that there aren't that many strong emotional beats in the story. Considering that this is largely a story of loyalty and betrayal (with a side of love), there should be a lot more punch in this movie's emotion. There's any number of reasons this could be: the flat and boring music, the only moderately-well-written script, the monotone feel of the directing, etc. In the end, this lack of heart is what turns Underworld from a good or great movie into a merely decent one.

Truth be told, the concept of Underworld is really its most enjoyable aspect. The mere idea of a "sci-fi vampire/werewolf gang war" makes this film at least passable. Kate Beckinsale perfectly fits—and defines—the character of Selene, adding some much-needed depth and interest to the otherwise bleak story.

If you're a big fan of gothic fantasy, I'd recommend this film. It's got some great ideas and a rather complex mythology that may hold your interest.

6/10

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

The Chamber of Secrets takes what was in The Sorcerer's Stone and makes it a bit deeper, darker, and ultimately better.

The story here flows much, much better than last time. Whereas The Sorcerer's Stone was jumpy and jumbled as it flowed from start to finish, this movie feels more appropriately suited for film, and is much easier to sink into.

While The Sorcerer's Stone had some very dark moments, it retained a somewhat lighthearted tone that didn't always match the action.  The Chamber of Secrets, however, manages to blend its tone and subject matter much better.  While death was often mentioned in the previous film, here we actually see a bit of bloody on-screen violence.

The visual effects in this film are much better than in the last, but are still far from perfect.  The Quidditch match is less embarassing to watch, but it's not great either.  The spiders go back and forth from looking obviously fake to rather impressively realistic.  The Basilisk itself looks near-perfect, but the difference between the CG model and the real-life animatronic model is very obvious.  I'm actually not sure which model is inferior; it could be that the CG model doesn't correctly reflect light, or it could be that the fake skin on the animatronic model isn't as realistic as it should be.  Either way, both models look amazing on their own; they're just distractingly different.

The set design is amazing. The Chamber of Secrets itself looks completely real; it simultaneously scares the audience and piques their curiosity.

The acting in this film has also improved over the last one.  The child actors are less awkward, and it helps a bit.  Jason Isaacs' portrayal of Lucius Malfoy is masterful; he's the very model of a great villain.

John Williams' musical score is catchy to be sure, but it also feels extremely similar to his other works.  The Quidditch match's score sounds almost identical to the generic action music heard in the Star Wars prequels, and many of the themes that are meant to evoke "the majesty and wonder" of Harry's magical world sound very much like themes from Jurassic Park and E.T. While there's nothing wrong with The Chamber of Secrets's musical score when examined on its own, it sounds so similar to other soundtracks that it's distracting for a fantasy-genre soundtrack geek like myself.

This chapter in the Harry Potter series initially seems to be a self-contained adventure, where nothing is lost or gained, and everything merely returns to the status quo at the end. A singular evil rose, and Harry defeated it. Were someone to judge the entire series based on the first two books/films, they might assume that it was nothing more than a series of magical mystery stories for children, rather than what it truly is: a deeply-woven mythology filled with realistically developing characters and wonderful storytelling.

However, future Potter books/films refer back to The Chamber of Secrets, revealing how the specific events here are, in fact, of immense importance. Repeat viewings, in light of the sequels, are much more entertaining.

Honestly, there's not much to say about this film that wasn't already said about the first.  The acting is better, the special effects are better, and the story gets a tad darker. Certain elements work extremely well in film form, notably the Basilisk battle and certain lines of well-said dialogue.  These little bits of fun elevate the film above its predecessor, and set the bar just a bit higher for the series as a whole.

7/10

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

This film is the very definition of a straight book-to-screen translation, for better or for worse.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone follows the original children’s novel very closely, perhaps to a fault. The film covers nearly every single aspect of the book, leaving very little out. Unfortunately, this means that the movie is crammed full at two and a half hours, but still feels as though it's rushing in order to cover everything. The dramatic pace of the movie is a bit off because of this, sometimes making the film feel a little bit like a childrens' roller coaster rather than a well-rounded story.

However, the casting here is completely flawless. Good child actors are seemingly non-existent, yet the lead three characters are played perfectly by Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, and Rupert Grint.

The visual effects go back and forth between astounding and disgusting. All of the “solid” objects look amazing. Hogwarts castle looks completely real, as do all of the other environments. The makeup on the goblins is particularly good; they look like evil, pale-faced Yodas. The attention to detail in the film's visuals overall is practically unmatched. When it comes to the CGI, however, it's an entirely different matter. Almost every time a CG monster or human is shown, it looks obviously fake and cartoonish. Because CG creatures are the focus of many important scenes in the film, this can be extremely distracting.
On the other hand, the whimsical and kid-friendly tone of the movie counters this somewhat. After all, when you have eleven-year-old wizards using tiny wands to battle a slimy mountain troll, realism takes a slight dive. It would have been nice to have real-looking CG effects, but the movie isn't ruined because of the bad ones.

The music is almost astoundingly good. John Williams has apparently not yet lost his touch, managing to craft musical themes that reflect the mystery, wonder, and excitement of Harry’s strange magical world.

An odd thing about the film is its constantly contrasting tone and subject matter. While the film has the whimsical quality of a five-year-old’s brain, the events in the story are far more mature. Voldemort is said to have murdered Harry’s parents, and drinks a slain unicorn’s blood on-screen. Later, Harry purposely uses powerful magic to defend himself, burning his attacker down to ashes. As if that wasn’t enough, Ron occasionally throws out a “damn” or “hell.” While it’s nice to see the film not dodge the book’s more mature content, it does make one occasionally wonder who the target audience is.

The most important part of this film, however, is the manner in which it uses the character of Harry to bring us into this new magical world. He, like Luke Skywalker before him, is the young, ordinary hero who is transported from his grounded reality into a fantastical adventure. There's a sense of wish fulfillment in The Sorcerer's Stone: that dream of taking the Hogwarts Express and being swept way to a land of wonder and excitement.

All in all, this film has a slightly jumpy narrative structure and sometimes-shoddy visual effects, but everything else is of the highest quality. The entire experience is slightly shallow, but it works well enough as an audiovisual spectacle that it's absolutely worth watching. While The Sorcerer’s Stone definitely works better as a book, it functions just fine as a film.

6/10